The most important theme in Dale Carnegie's How to win friends and influence people
If you ever want to influence some one, ever want to hold some one in your spell and have them totally in your control- Please show genuine interest and let them do all the talking. There are anecdotes going back to the life of Abraham Lincoln and other people. If you ever want to get people do things for you, and like you. Let them talk, show genuine interest, and do not correct or interrupt them. Even if they are just plainly speaking wrong things.
Everyone in the world wants an audience to perform in front of and receive applause. For some its playing piano, sleight of hand, singing, acting and for almost every one its just talking.
I'd like to believe that list includes criminals, and prisoners of wars etc too.
The most important rule of Influencing people. Be presentable, and likable. But remember influencing is about the people you are trying to influence, not yourself. The more you make it about them, and the more you make them feel special the more obligated they feel to help you.
Ah. There is someone I know who when we talk, just listens and acts very interested, but never really engages with what I am saying or argues his own opinion. I think I understand why now.
But while he makes excellent initial impressions, this behavior has become infuriating and very off-putting. Such behavior might work for shallow relationships but it is no good if you want a relationship with depth.
The thing with torture is that you are trying to influence others than those being tortured.
Take the Guantanamo Bay example. None of the people taken there for interrogation had any connection to the unspeakable taboo events in question, however, their treatment sent a chilling message of terror to everyone and anyone in the whole world.
That message was a simple one - 'you mess with us and you can expect this'.
This technique controls domestic dissent and that is always what concerns an empire more than the real or imagined external threat. Hence nobody proactively took action against the war even if they did grumble amongst themselves about things like the Patriot Act.
It is just part and parcel of statecraft in any era of empire.
If you ever want to influence some one, ever want to hold some one in your spell and have them totally in your control- Please show genuine interest and let them do all the talking. There are anecdotes going back to the life of Abraham Lincoln and other people. If you ever want to get people do things for you, and like you. Let them talk, show genuine interest, and do not correct or interrupt them. Even if they are just plainly speaking wrong things.
Everyone in the world wants an audience to perform in front of and receive applause. For some its playing piano, sleight of hand, singing, acting and for almost every one its just talking.
I'd like to believe that list includes criminals, and prisoners of wars etc too.
The most important rule of Influencing people. Be presentable, and likable. But remember influencing is about the people you are trying to influence, not yourself. The more you make it about them, and the more you make them feel special the more obligated they feel to help you.