That book, How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk has been a staple in our (childless) household since we discovered it decades ago. The extent to which we recommend it to new couples and new parents is embarrassing.
It's partially about empathy, but it's also about taking smaller steps to communication. E.g. I see Legos all over the floor rather than look what a mess you made!.
You may also find "taming your outer child" to be beneficial. I came from a rather disruptive household, and this book is how I know now how to be a good parent and not pass that stuff on, and also to be a "fully functional" human being.
It's partially about empathy, but it's also about taking smaller steps to communication. E.g. I see Legos all over the floor rather than look what a mess you made!.